Category Archives: Rant

High Times

Today is the first day of the third month of our lives this 2011th year AD.

Oh! Such a grand introduction for a day, a blip in our lives, and immensely less than an audible grain of sand in the age’d old thing- our Universe.

Though today, I am forced to concentrate on my tiny human anxieties and desires, as minute in the grand scheme as they may be.

He goes into hospital tomorrow.

Some may say, myself being one of them! That I can be a little more  openly self-righteous than I  really should. Worrying about the unfurled events of tomorrow and tomorrow is a wasted schlop of energy, I would say, which is agreed upon by every religion and common sense expert in the world. I assume. (There I go again…) So in knowing this, why can’t I turn it off?

Why do I find myself walking into rooms to get something and completely forgetting what it was, why i’m in this room and what my name is… The last one is exaggerated of course, I haven’t had some kind of aneurism.

I think It’s the distraction, the thinking without realising the thinking! The suppressed worrying that keeps the brain all spiky at bedtime. I have nothing but admiration for the parents who have terribly ill children, they must be real troopers.

Why doesn’t anyone write in those lovely clinical pregnancy books that two well known emotions truly peak when a child is born- Guilt and worry. Go away worry! You can take a hike too guilt!

Sigh. For goodness sake, it’s DAY surgery! He’s a healthy butter ball, just a correctional operation. Silly brain!

On the other view, these emotions are so primal, so beautifully uncontrollable and necessary if we were protecting our young against the proverbial Sabre Tooth Tiger.

Amazing.

He won’t care, he won’t know! Imagine the freedom to be unaware of our own mortality. Wouldn’t that be nice?

Orright. Cuppa tea time.


The Dark, the Humour and the Bright Side.

I guess it happens to all of us at some time or another-

Professional life demands more of you than your blood and guts can fulfil, and that carrot seems to be further and further away from your outstretched neck and snapping jaws.

The bank account turns it’s pockets inside out and shrugs it’s shoulders and sticks it’s lip out when naught but dust and a moth come fluttering out.

One of the kids needs a stint in hospital (nothing serious) and finally, and most pointedly since your mood and self esteem is already down there sniffing around-

You’re a bit more overweight than you are quite frankly comfortable with.

C’mon though folks, everything in life is a choice! And when life gives you lemons..erm,  something about tequila… You choose to fix it all up, right?

You take a look at those finances, make some calls, move things around and hooray! soon you’ll be paying less and have a bit of cashola left over! In just a few weeks things will be back on track.

Then….

Car breaks down.

OH! Har har har, very funny.

My Daddy puts it down to the fabled ‘Bennett Luck’ comparable only to Al Bundy’s famous super power for screwing up. Very similar, in a less TV comedy kinda way. Let’s just say that if my Dad won the Lottery, he’d become very nervous…

Wait. Let’s look on the bright side for a moment- Fact: No money currently. It might sound tacky but we really do have each other and our lovely house (and still able to support both). Considering those in Christchurch, NZ who have lost their homes, businesses, loved ones and lives it’s easy to put little money woes into perspective. Perhaps even feel a little sheepish about complaining in the first place.

Broken down car- Thankfully I had husband with me and we were only down the road from our house so we were able to push home. That could have been MUCH worse.

Squashy’s stint in hospital. I’m worrying about my  7 month old under anaesthetic. Although, with top health cover and the top doctor it shan’t be a real worry. Never again will I curse the private health insurance fee! (Though it’ll be the first to go when all our wisdom teeth etc are extracted).

5 kilo’s left to lose after baby. Hmm…

Well, if i’m not willing to do the squats then, you know the rest.

Annnnnd … cut!


Diet Why-et!

Strap in! It’s rant time.

I am over it and sick of it and completely removing myself from obsessing about my weight! This time, I promise to become more mindful of mindfulness. Remove my grey matter from the gluteus maximus!

I worked out that I have lost 13.5 kilo’s since beautiful big Joshua was born 7 months ago (tomorrow). And I don’t even remember celebrating any of it. Only obsessing about the next kilojoule adorning my nutritional chopping block.

Something hormonal this way comes. Not in the gross out way you think, I do try to keep my blog including rants clean enough for an adult male to endure, so I mean that weird things are happening… Not as weird as say- Growing a mustache or receiving instructions from my err, gluteus maximus but weird as in- malting really badly. So bad that if I were a lady with thin hair i’d truly start to get worried. Lucky for me I feel a little lighter for the summer! Also, I’m lucky to never have had pimples and now i’m getting loads of them! Tired, cranky, forgetful, CAN’T LOSE THAT LAST 5 KILO’S! My hormones are saying NO! And I might have to say- Well. Fine! All this is apparently normal after reproducing a short time ago.

Sorry.

Before you conjure a picture of me in your mind that i’m a hairless boil covered freak, accept that it really isn’t all that bad. I just have a knack of micro-managing my body. Poor thing.

I have been following the Clean and Lean style of living, and psychologically enjoy the idea of eating organic, saving the earth and my body one bite at a time. I will continue to do so.

One thing will be different, Clean and Lean-

I will indulge myself with alcohol on occasion. Perhaps even over-indulge.

I will eat bread for breakfast, because I bloody love it!        I LOVE bread!

I will not be looking (or pretend to not be looking) when that 5 kilo’s slips by unannounced and I throw my hands up with frustration at the fact I need to purchase an ENTIRE new wardrobe to fit my silly clean and lean body.

Or celebrate with cheesecake… whatever comes first.

 

(Hmmm. That may have been 3 things.)

 

 


Zombie Nation

Oh dear LORD i’m exhausted.

Not sure why my sleep is stuffed currently. Yes I know the kid wakes up during the night but what’s with the tossing and turning till 1am? The heat? Worried that the puppy is going to leave a few ‘unwanted gifts’ on the carpet while I am unconscious. Either way, my brain is turning to mush and there doesn’t seem to be a zombie bite in sight…

I tried to make a little creature I have done dozens of times before as a little gift via this blog for those who would like one, see the example here of the creature (Little) i’m trying to knit. The whole complexity of this pattern was scores above anything my brain could comprehend last night! So I frogged him for now. (Frogged is knitter talk for – ‘too hard’ or ‘screwed it up’)

Do not despair! I shall have a Little & Friends freebie on here, as soon as my neuron’s are firing as they are supposed to. Ugh.

We did many things today, none that I can remember with too much clarity. Zombie brain, remember.

Tonight I may sleep, if I got to bed right now. (Do it girl, do it!)


At the end, make sure you stop

I glimpsed the fence outside one of our windows tonight. It was pink!

Some garbage needed to be taken out, so I dashed outside to catch the last beautiful fading embrace of the setting sun on the clouds crowning our house.

There I was, standing in the middle of the footpath when something unexpected happened. Everything suddenly became very pronounced and still. I could hear children laughing and playing in the darkening playground near our house. The insects in the garden, and faint murmuring of a neighbours television. We were not moving, the Earth stood stock still as the clouds crept slowly past. Immune to their own incredible force.

This must be what they talk about when they use the word- stillness. You never know what something truly means until it happens properly to you then WHAM! You know you’re there. No doubt about it!

I have tried meditation in the past and been fairly thought-free and peaceful, and I thought i’d for sure achieved stillness then. Even if only for a moment. I know now that-no, this time it was as though i’d logged into the energy of everything around me, perhaps some ancient instinctual awareness long forgotten and drowned out with the white noise and many little pieces that make up our chattery day-to-day.

Just warning you now, if you see me looking a little odd-eyed on the train or pushing a shopping trolley at Coles, you’re not in any danger. I may have simply harnessed the power to stop!

At least, if only in my mind.


Today…. oh screw it.

Imagine if you could have an insurance policy to protect you against days that end up being one great big dramatic write-off.

Today is, and continues to be, on of those days. So at 2pm I decided- You know, i’m going to cut my losses, stand still for a moment while I wait for my brain to complete it’s full circle (landing quickly into the trap I set for it) and have a cup of tea. Also lunch, since i’d simply forgotten all about it and only then noticed the starvation.

On the more organised side, I do have a new daycare lady. A stern yet lovely lady named Iram who’s children in care listen to every word she says! I like that. I like that a lot. Little Sisi is very relieved to be away from the biter (don’t ask) and seems to look forward to staying there next week.

Interviewing her and taking them to grandparents today left me exactly 3 hours to work in the studio/garage.

All this after a horrible night which included bed wetting not by me, projectile formula vomiting and snoring so loud (again not by me) I had to banish myself from the marital bed only to be woken up at 5am by Little Sisi tapping on my arm throwing around words like – ‘Hungry’. GAH!

Come on kids! How am I supposed to be an ultra-sexy super-mum with perfect hair while taking the business world by storm if I am not permitted to sleep! Kindly let loose with your bodily functions during the day if it isn’t too much trouble.

Lucky they’re so darn cute…


Really Want One!

I’m not saying that I know anything about photography, or take beautiful shots that pull gasps from throats but DAMN! I really really want a Panasonic FZ50 camera!

It’s not an SLR (you can’t screw off the lens and put others on) but whoop de, it looks pretty good to me!

Why the sudden outburst? Well, I have been snapping some pix to add to this blog, put some effort into it (difficult with the tiny shitty point-and-shoot I currently have) and find myself exasperated when the batteries fizz so quickly, it doesn’t focus, the colour’s all wrong and most recently, tonight, I can’t find the goddamn connector to the computer to get the photo’s off!

I know that isn’t the camera’s fault. All the same, feels like the straw, you know, the FINAL straw!

My Daddy has one, swears by it. In my heart I feel that the hundreds of photo’s I take of the little mortals are sub standard and simply not doing anything, or anyone justice.

Quite obviously I don’t just ‘want’ this camera… you guessed it. I NEED this camera!

Hmm.. perhaps a business purchase?

Thanks for nothing Santa! 


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