Today is the first day of the third month of our lives this 2011th year AD.
Oh! Such a grand introduction for a day, a blip in our lives, and immensely less than an audible grain of sand in the age’d old thing- our Universe.
Though today, I am forced to concentrate on my tiny human anxieties and desires, as minute in the grand scheme as they may be.
He goes into hospital tomorrow.
Some may say, myself being one of them! That I can be a little more openly self-righteous than I really should. Worrying about the unfurled events of tomorrow and tomorrow is a wasted schlop of energy, I would say, which is agreed upon by every religion and common sense expert in the world. I assume. (There I go again…) So in knowing this, why can’t I turn it off?
Why do I find myself walking into rooms to get something and completely forgetting what it was, why i’m in this room and what my name is… The last one is exaggerated of course, I haven’t had some kind of aneurism.
I think It’s the distraction, the thinking without realising the thinking! The suppressed worrying that keeps the brain all spiky at bedtime. I have nothing but admiration for the parents who have terribly ill children, they must be real troopers.
Why doesn’t anyone write in those lovely clinical pregnancy books that two well known emotions truly peak when a child is born- Guilt and worry. Go away worry! You can take a hike too guilt!
Sigh. For goodness sake, it’s DAY surgery! He’s a healthy butter ball, just a correctional operation. Silly brain!
On the other view, these emotions are so primal, so beautifully uncontrollable and necessary if we were protecting our young against the proverbial Sabre Tooth Tiger.
He won’t care, he won’t know! Imagine the freedom to be unaware of our own mortality. Wouldn’t that be nice?
Orright. Cuppa tea time.