A Month In – Part 1

4 weeks galloped steadily past, though, not without my noticing.

The little guy is a month old. Guzzling his way quickly to chubbiness too.

I wish that Sienna and I had an ideal start. They say you  gaze into their little filmy focus-less eyes and fall instantly in Love. In a way, sure! She was my baby, my soft sweet smelling little darling. “Read a book to her” they said. “Talk to her!” Say what!? I knew nothing of babies!

Could she even see me? Why did she cry so much and sleep so little? Was it because she hates me? Why does breast feeding hurt so much? Would this ever get easier?

Honestly, I was too busy trying to be a perfect Mummy and so completely overwhelmed that the contemplation never occurred to me. In fact, I lost all my baby weight in… I don’t know how long. Simply from forgetting to eat most of the time. When did my pregger belly go away? I don’t remember, too busy to take notice!

I love my little girl SO much! It was more a journey of discovery for the both of us. Especially at the start, and then the life altering, heart attacking adoration for this kid grew daily. Still does now, and I wonder how any room could possibly remain inside of me. Or be available for the next little chicken.

Josh is lucky, this time I know what i’m doing, and what a wonderful little creature he is becoming daily. It was all because of her that it comes so easily now. Everything will be easier with him because Sienna and I tackled anything that could possibly come up (besides anything truly terrible) with gusto!

For a few days, I was sad to leave hospital. It was different this time, even with the drugs and the constipation and the whole ‘major surgery’ thing, I have bounced back very well. Disturbingly well. He was the perfect little baby, hardly a squeak when awake, and fairly easy to put back to sleep which was always for a length of 3 hours-ish.

I marvelled at his perfectly round head (from the cesarean) and already chubby cheeks. He is blonde and practically hairless, which completely threw me. Sienna was such a hairy little bugger. Also, he has no eyebrows, and the tiniest prickles of eyelashes, if you look very closely and the light is just right.

The most remarkable thing is his smell, his amazing new baby smell. I spent hours in that hospital room touching my nose to his head, as his huffy breathing became slower into a gurgly sleep. To me, his head is like a soft, warm horses nose.

All I had to do was cuddle, feed and change him. No other responsibilities, AND they brought me food. No wonder I was sad to leave!

I have to go and have the bath I’ve been promising myself all night, after finally getting those two to bed while Husband is at CFA training! Stay tuned for Part 2 of this post. Off I go with my exhaustion and I, Robot on my iPhone.

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