Damn Cat…


We, The Chicken and I, slept in this morning. Slept in until I realised that the carpet cleaning man was going to be at our front door in 20 minutes, then I got up rather quickly indeed. Seems the cat has been marking some territory, meaning the carpet, near the very pet door he usually uses to ‘take it outside’. I am Man enough to admit to my Mother when she’s right, when we sprayed some ‘Urine-Off’ onto the carpet on what I insisted to be an old stain, then plastic over it according to the instructions and, lo! In the morning there puddled a pint of piss. Damn cat.

The carpet man was lovely and treated the extra stains with his fancy stuff and wished me well. Then Jean-the-cleaning-machine came over and completed the rest of the house, The Chicken went to grandparents for a few hours and I relaxed, till Mother came over and we went to a breast enlargement seminar. Lemme get this straight, I ain’t getting no breast enlargement, but the seminar was supposed to be about ‘lifts’ as well… which it friggin wasn’t. Now I know all about breast enlargements, and I am doubly and even completely sure they’re not for me. I ate their nibblies and guzzled their Solo and will be back for my free chemical peel. Breast enlargements? Not for this little white duck.

The Chicken did something very cute tonight after being at Grandparents, she patted my tummy and said oh-so casually “Hello Baby!” Then I chased her around the house with my belly out shouting- “Baby Brother’s gunna kiss yoooou! Woooooh!” Eewww, boy germs.

The anaesthesiologist (sp?) called me today to ask some medical questions. I thought he was an Indian telemarketer and spoke to him rather coldly until I realised he’s the guy with the drugs! He will be my bestest friend.

I’m one of those unkind people Kamahl talks about.

See you on the flip side!


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